David DeAngelo - Dating Questions For Men

*** DATING QUESTION FROM A READER ***

Hi David, love your newsletters, always remind me the great points I read in your book… You recently wrote:

“If you buy a woman enough dinners, she may begin to feel some AFFECTION for you… but food and gifts will never lead to ATTRACTION. Big difference.”

So what do we do after the first date of tea and stimulating conversation? I figure that at some point, I would like to go to dinner with a new girl. Should I just let them pay for theirs? I did that last time, since we were just becoming friends, I wasn’t that into the woman and didn’t want to look like I was trying to impress her (since I wasn’t trying to impress her), and she also has her own business and I could tell she wasn’t struggling.

Dinner has been my main date approach in the past, and I have become the Wuss in most cases! I recently came up with a good line for a girl at the Farmers market who told me I should eat my greens… I told her she should come over and cook them for me! She didn’t know how to respond, but I think she liked it by her smile. I’m gonna hit her up next time to be serious about that request, I think she can probably cook up some nice greens to go along with my nice Ahi Tuna dish…

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Popularity: 3% [?]

I’ve gotten several emails asking questions like, “Should I pay for dates?” and “How do I avoid paying for dates?”

The answer that I’m going to propose is almost misleading in its simplicity, but hey… those are my favorite kind…

DON’T GO OUT ON “TRADITIONAL DINNER DATES” ANYMORE.

See, if you don’t go out on “take her out to dinner” dates anymore, then you won’t have to deal with paying for them.

Profound, I know. Please, hold the applause.

Let me explain this a little more…

A lot of good research suggests that women think men, who are potential mates, fall into one of two categories. I call these categories “Lover” and “Provider”. If you’ve read my book “Double Your Dating” then you will recall that one of the three free bonus reports was dedicated to this topic.

The basic idea goes like this:

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***QUESTION***

I have been using your techniques for the past month and my “popularity” is soaring. I would like to thank you for finally saying what I have thought for years. Here is my question. About 5 years ago I used to go to this bar and there was a server that I was just ga ga for. Back then I was very shy and reserved. We talked here and there nothing ever happened more than that and that was only when she brought me my drinks.

Well, this weekend was my first weekend out since I moved back home and she was working at this new bar, I went to go approach her and all of sudden my mind was blank so I just backed off b4 she even knew i was going to approach her. How should I handle this especially since she has been bartending for at least 5 years she has seen it all and been hit on by EVERYONE! What would you do?

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Popularity: 4% [?]

>>>QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

Dave,

You are a saint. A giant among insects… Ok, maybe not, but it gets through the obligatory ass-kissing since you have helped me so much. Let me begin…

I’ve had my eyes on this particular girl for quite some time, and I could tell she was already into me quite a bit, but we had never made anything of it. Last week, she decided to “be bold” and ask ME out, instead of the other way around (you can see I’m already doing something right). She asked if I wanted to go see a movie some time; instead of freaking out and jumping at the chance, I said I’m rather tired of this whole `movie date’ thing.

If she wanted to get me, she was going to have to be a little more creative. She was rather shocked and felt somewhat rejected. Later in the conversation, we were got to talking about this stalker (wussy who needs a life) that seems to be in love with her, and she hates him. He had asked her if she wanted to accompany him to a football game the next night that they both were already going to.

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Popularity: 5% [?]

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Dave, Why is it that a woman who is only interested in the funny, cocky and challenging (i.e., interesting) men, later in life tries to raise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and “nice”? (i.e., run of the mill)!!

WS New York

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a VERY interesting question, and I’m glad you emailed me to ask it.

I’m going to give you my personal take on this. But, more importantly, I’m going to talk about how these kinds of paradoxes exist right in plain sight all around us… and how to interpret them so you can increase your own personal success with women and dating.

So, to answer your question first…

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Popularity: 5% [?]