How Women Lose Respect For Men


Hey Dave,

I’ve recently bought your audio series and it’s just amazing! By combining what I’ve learned through the ‘inner game’ and the ‘outer game’ I’ve been able to date a lot of women I’ve had my eye on for a while but just never had the nerve to talk to them.

One of them is a 9 and we have had rehearsal together everyday. She’s one of those types that ‘knows’ they’re pretty and you can definitely see that in her attitude. Well she tried to sit on a desk and it started to creak, and I looked over at my friend and said:

ME: “Watch, in a couple of minutes, we’ll hear a crash, and we’ll know it’s her!”

HER: (With a look of, ‘I can’t believe you just said that!!) “What are you trying to say… that I’m fat?” (Which she is anything but!)

ME: (Coming right back and not really caring about the outcome) “What are you trying to say… that you’re not?”

HER: (She just had the same open mouthed, wide eyed look and hit me on the arm and said) “Oh, stop it!”

She then gave me a full ‘checking me out’ look with that look in her eye like that told me, ‘I’m ready for more!‘ I can’t believe I said that, but I just went at it with the mindframe that I’ve got nothing to lose–Even though she is one of the girls I MAJORLY want to get with! Now, I’ve got her number and going to take her out soon.

Now to my question:

I am pretty good dealing with women when there’s just one, but with these play rehearsals that I’m in there are several girls that I like. I’m focusing on one right now, but I want to keep the others open for later. How do I interact with them and still keep the attraction up for me? I still want to have that ‘friends/attraction’ relationship going on, but I don’t want to ruin the whole thing with all the other prospective women.

B.P Houston, TX


Nice one. GREAT example of how to handle and flirt with an attractive woman who KNOWS that she’s attractive.

And as for the others, TREAT THEM THE SAME WAY!

This stuff is even MORE fun when you’re talking to a GROUP of women. You can tease them about their choice of friends, what they’re all wearing, and all kinds of other great stuff.

You can be “friends” with all the other women, and keep the sexual tension building for later.



I recently (like 2 months ago) downloaded your e-book, and read it thru the first day. I actually understood the whole C&F and the tugging on the string stuff. The approaching women (which was my problem) advice you wrote really helped, I can get a number or e-mail address at will basically.

There is one problem though. I’ve been using the C&F with great success so I know I am going about it the right way. The problem is that there is one girl that I want. I started talking to her, without using the C&F at all, but not being a wussy. She really was into me, and it was great I got her number, than proceeded to read your book.

I used the C&F on her, and was doing it great because girls actually came over to me and gave me their number while I was talking to the girl I liked, JUST BECAUSE THEY HEARD ME TALKING TO HER! If the C&F isn’t getting me anywhere with this girl, and I definitely want to avoid being a wussy cuz I am the furthest thing from it, what should I do?

A New York City


Well, the first thing you need to do is:


There’s an interesting paradox that I keep seeing…

Guys write me all the time and say “I met ten women last week, but ONE of them won’t call me back… how do I get HER?

This kind of thinking is a total waste of your time.

If a woman isn’t responding to you, then move on. There are literally opportunities to meet women all around you, so say “next” and move on.


Well…let me get right to the good stuff. I used to be wuss-like, until a few months ago. I started working on the little things I need to improve, eye contact, posture, etc… Slowly I worked in all the ingredients of what we like to call the glory of cocky and funny.

Tonight was a good night. The family is out to dinner for moms birthday. The waitress who’s section we were sat in was a 8-9 in my book. Instantly, I busted her with a comment about the drink selection, the air temperature. She totally took it in and gave me some fresh attitude back, so I knew I was for a treat with this treat.

We eat, I throw in a few c&f here and there, and acted like I didn’t notice she was there from time to time. She comes to take my plate away as it was clear to anyone that I was finished. So I declined the taking of the plate… the whole night. We get ready to leave, I come out of the bathroom to find that my family was already outside.

I remind her not to take the plate as I would be back for it later. She laughs and says she’ll be sure to leave it there. I’m outside maybe 2 mins and go back in. She had taken the plate and I busted her! She loved it… I go to leave back outside to be with my family that way I could hurry and turn around to ask for the email). She wouldn’t have it.

Three consecutive times I attempt to leave, she’ll ask me a question to keep me there. So I leave with her phone number…. I would have like to received her email instead… of course she didn’t have one and she wasn’t allowed to use the computer at home…. which was used to my advantage of course.

I leave for home thinking ‘bonus’, I scored another number… when I come to read my emails and get this one below from a girl in another state who I met on a [website]. I talked to her ONCE, and this is what I get:

Hey B,

How’s it going?? I hope all is great. I really enjoyed talking to you, you have a lot or unique and interesting things to say. That’s what keeps me coming back to you. I really like all the jokes and quotes that you share with me. So what is it that you really look like, all you told me was you were 4’5″ and like 200lbs. or something like that.

It really doesn’t matter to me if you don’t tell me though cuz I really like your personality so that to me makes you one of the most attractive guys out there. You probably think I’m lying out my ass, but I’m not. Well I told you I would write you an e-mail and I just wanted to say “Hi” too so talk to you later. Have a nice day and hope to hear from you soon.

Bye Bye, D

What to do eh? I’m really glad I came across your site Dave. I would ask a question except, most the time I can work them out myself… but only because of the guidance of your work. Appreciate it.

Utah Boy


What do you mean what to do?

You’re kicking ass, man. Just email her back and say “Hey, where are you taking me so I can find out if you’re real or just some guy sending me emails that’s pretending to be a woman…

You’re doing great.


Sup Dave,

Eye contact is made, i keep it until she turns. Then i go and talk to her. Do i keep the same intensity? Don’t want to be mistaken for Jack “The Stalker”. also, i’ve noticed that once they talk to you responsively, it becomes an easier interaction, where all her defenses drop. Most women will turn into little girls…why?


The answer to your first question:

Once you start talking to a woman, you don’t need to keep up the same eye contact intensity. Do what works for you. I personally relax and act overly-casual, like a good friend, and keep about as much eye contact as she seems comfortable making after I start talking to a girl. Many guys become self-conscious about making direct eye contact with women and being perceived as a “stalker” type. Don’t worry about it. A woman will think you’re a stalker if she looks over three hours later and you’re still looking at her intensely… and you haven’t even talked to her!

And for your second answer…

One reason why women will melt and start acting like “little girls” (as you put it) is because you’ve gotten past her initial defenses, and proven that you’re not just another WUSS who looks at her but doesn’t have the balls to confidently start a conversation.

Get it?


Hey Dave,

I have been getting the mailbags for 2 weeks now and am soon to buy the book and to tell the truth I am not sure how you did it, But you have converted me from wussy boy: afraid to talk to any woman i was even remotely interested in, to being able to get their email and number anytime i want.

I just wanted to show how grateful i am for that. I am still confused on one little thing, after you do all the C&F lines and you get things moving, it seems like i want to go back to being myself again before knowing how to use C&F. You said that usually once guys get the ball rolling they seem to want to lay off using C&F, and i wanted to know what you had to say on the issue of resisting the urge to revert back to our old selves?

S Nashville, TN


Oh, I have something to say…


No no no… don’t do it!

Resist the dark side.

If you start acting like a “nice”, needy, overly-attentive, girly-man, your new-found babe will do the disrespectful tap dance of doom on your emotions, and she’ll hit the road. Keep doing what attracted her in the first place, man.

The more you use the techniques, the morethey’ll just become part of your natural personality anyway, so keep it up.


Dear Dave,

First and foremost thank you for enlightening a former wuss! As a university student money is hard to come by at times and spending it in order to, “impress” women only led to rejection and being broke. A vicious cycle. Thanks to you i have women paying for me! YES FOR ME! When i go out they are paying for me, they are calling me and now it’s hard to keep them from finding out about each other :)

Apart from praising you, this email is to highlight what i have learnt in psychology about 10 minutes ago. The topic is “Social Emotional Impact” and basically it’s all about first impressions and how people come to judge you.

Put Simply in the Dating Game: -

50% is nonverbal gestures, 45% is tone, pauses in speech and only 5% is actual words.

If we apply this to a meeting and dating, a whopping 95% of her first impression is how you carry yourself!


A. Australia


I was just talking last night about this exact dynamic.

The research I read says that about 7% of your communication is the words you use, and the other 93% is your voice tone and body language.

Of course, what do most guys want to learn

Exactly… THE WORDS.


Paying attention only to the words causes you to MISS OUT on the most powerful ways to attract women.

How you say the words is FAR more important than what the words are.

If you want more great tips for creating ATTRACTION using your body language, gestures, and other communication, dig this:

Body Language


David your stuff is great! I have REALLY noticed a difference in myself over the past few months. I always used to worry about what I should be saying to a woman or how I should be acting around her.

Now, after reading your book it’s like I have been baptized to a new life filled with women and fun. I’m seriously considering getting your CD Audio series soon. I have a question that I think many guys out there would like answered. When you are around an attractive woman, should you restrain all signs of being attracted to her?

I have talked to some women about this and they tell me that sometimes they need to know if a guy is interested. I have also read that your attraction should never come into play around a women and you should focus on her’s. So I’m a little confused on the matter. I’d appreciate any advice.

C.P. St. Louis, MO


I personally think that you need to restrain all of your outward signs of “Oh my god you are sooo hot. I would walk a hundred miles across a hot desert with no water, just for the opportunity to have a date with you.

It makes you look like a Wussy in most cases.

If you’re flirting with a woman, keeping the conversation interesting, using Cocky & Funny, and generally doing all the right things to create ATTRACTION and SEXUAL TENSION, then she’ll KNOW what’s going on without you having to “let her know”.

Trust me.


hey dave,

I have had your book and been reading your newsletters for about 8 months now. I have just recently made a commitment to write down my interactions with women. I use your “Bridges” article as an outline of my interactions with women writing out each detail of how I approached her, getting digits,etc…

However, I am kind of stuck on the first couple of “contacts” when talking to them like here is an example I wrote email to this girl I said “what are you playing hard to get already, I know your not that busy“. She replied by saying “actually I am pretty busy and oh I always play hard to get

Now, I am totally confused about what I should say back. I know it should be something cocky and funny but I just don’t know what would be something good to say back. If you could just give me some suggestions I would really appreciate it. I am working hard on all the stuff in your book so please give a hard worker who’s trying everyday some love ok?

Also I was just needing some topics of conversation I can talk about with her too. I know you have answered this question before but I just need to hear some suggestions in my situation ok? again your a truly a pioneer in this art.


CC Birmingham, AL


Some LOVE?

What are they teaching you down there in Alabama about how to ask for favors from other guys?

You’re doing fine here.

Just respond like so:

Oh, you always play hard to get, huh? I guess we’ll just have to see how you good you REALLY are. Now clear your schedule, because I’m FAR more interesting than anything else that you could possibly be doing.

Do you feel the music?

This is fun, challenging, and cocky all at the same time.

Oh, and stop confusing “your” with “you’re”. It’s OK to bend the rules of the English language, but not when it’s obvious that you don’t KNOW the rules. I obviously twist and distort the rules often, but it’s obvious that at some point in my life I actually knew how the rules worked!



Thanks for bringing an old womaniser back out of his shell. I read your latest mailbag just now and one of the points caught my attention “I get a lot of emails from guys saying they used to do this stuff but forgot” The reason is that we get conditioned from our girlfriends to be a nice guy.

They call us a**holes, then when we try to be nicer guys, they moan that we don’t pay them the same attention anymore and it breaks up! So i split up from my recent ex this time last year. Until Feb, I wasted away, trying to get her back.

Then I thought…F— it. I made the effort to be the guy I used to be. I read your emails, got the book, got the girls I wanted. Well, some of the time anyhow. The first thing I realised when I read the book was how It went wrong from my part in my relationship, and how in trying too much to get her back I moved it further away. But you gotta learn somewhere.

I’m also helping my friends get women as well, using your tips. It’s easier to see it when other guys are making the mistakes. Now I’ve got more phone calls and messages than I know what to do with, I’m out partying four nights a week. You’ve not only doubled my dating, but you’ve doubled my bloody mobile phone bill!! I can live with it though.

Thanks very much for giving me the wake up call. I get it.

C Scotland


Ah, welcome back.

Remember, there’s a difference between being CALLED an a**hole by a woman and actually BEING one.

If you’re just being Cocky & Funny, teasing, being a challenge, etc. while being considerate, kind, physically stimulating (a-hem) and other “nice” things, and a woman calls you an “a**hole” then say “I’m really glad you like it!” Turn it into something Cocky & Funny.

The key is to not actually BECOME a mean, abusive guy.

Women love the challenge, but they don’t like the abuse from bad guys.

Give them the positive without the negative, just like you’re doing.

And again, welcome back.


Hi Dave,

First here’s my success story. I am actually deaf and wear two hearing aids so a discoteque environment is perhaps not the right environment for me as I can struggle a bit with communication but on this night I was determined to put my money to use.

Anyway, I was dancing at this club when this pretty girl (20yrs old maybe) started to dance near me. Normally I would say nothing as I would be afraid I wouldn’t hear her but this time I was going to do something. Unfortunately whilst I was trying to think of an opener another guy hit on her.

I don’t actually know what happened next but I saw this guy putting a ring on her finger so I jumped in and gave this spiel about how she must be ‘desperate’ to accept a marriage proposal from a guy she just met which cracked her up and scared the other guy away.

Then started saying how we will need some bridesmaids for the wedding so I start hitting on the other girls asking for their number ‘because we will need them for her (the girls) wedding’ and then for good measure start asking where she want to have the honeymoon. Funny thing is she was so busy laughing that I don’t think she realised that I couldn’t hear a word when she spoke to me.

That was a good night.

My question for you is:

I was with this other girl and things were going well. I was being cocky and funny. When unfortunately I said something cocky but not necessary funny, though certainly not insulting or offensive (Sometime I have to push the limits just to see how far I can go and get away with). The tricky thing was the girl let me know it wasn’t funny. This left me a little flustered – what do I do in such situations.


This is a great question…

Often, when you’re first learning how to use the Cocky & Funny attitude, you’ll go overboard and make the mistake of saying something that’s purely arrogant… but not funny.

No problem.

You have a few choices:

1) Say something AFTERWARDS that’s funny, that makes the original comment funny.

2) Say, “Oh, I’m just teasing” or give her a sly smile to let her know you were kidding.

3) Laugh at your own comment to signal that it was a joke, and not to be taken seriously.

Of course, you don’t want to tell a woman that you’re just teasing or laugh at your own comments TOO often, because you’ll look like a schmuck if you do.

The key to recovering is not letting the fact that you went overboard throw YOU off.

If she gets a little upset, just be cool and calm about the situation, and get back on track with more humor.

And don’t worry about it.

You’re learning a skill that will increase your success with women FOREVER, so it’s OK to make a few mistakes here and there while you’re learning.


Hey Dave,

Your material is just golden. I have just started practicing it on waitresses, and other women who are paid to be nice to me. For example when I was out for dinner I used the cocky and funny and get the email technique and i had the waitress laughing so hard she forgot my pizza. But she gave me a free pizza to make up. So I got a free pizza and her email.

However I have a question for you. There is this one girl who I have been madly in love with for almost 3 years. The problem is before I got a hold of your material I made the mistake of being a nice guy confessing my feelings for her, constantly compliment, basically being a wuss.

She came on msn the other day and told me that i come on too strong and that things are getting out of hand. So what I am asking you is this situation salvageable for me or not? i know how to use your techniques and i love this girl but should i even bother or is too late and time to move on like she said?


OK, just the fact that you’re writing me to say, “Oh Dave, I have a girl that I’ve been madly in love with for three years” makes you sound like a WUSSY.

Move on, and let this be a lesson to you. Don’t get so hung up on a woman that doesn’t like you!

I know, it’s profound advice.

But take it.



Another success story. Forgive me for sending the last one to the wrong address (I was still drunk from that night).

At that party, a fraternity Halloween party, this girl dressed like a Playboy bunny came up to me and I poured on the C&F. My friend was being lame and complimenting her and I told her she didn’t have the body and she was more like the
Easter bunny.

She hit me and then hung on to my arm until I shook her off and told her to go hide some eggs. She told me her name and I said OK and walked off. She and I ran into each other later and I started on her again. She took off her ears and held her arms out and said, “What, you don’t think I could be a Playboy bunny?

I ran my finger down her throat to her belly ring and told her she was lacking a little. I never would have done that before! Expecting to get hit, I was completely shocked when she kissed me after that. It was dark and loud so I couldn’t get her e-mail so I just handed her my phone and she put her number in and checked to make sure I had it. I told her I might call her and walked off.

I went straight over to my friend and showed him her number and told him to quit being lame and good things would happen. Another friend brought a date that night. She told him to go get her a beer and then called him her “beer wench” for the night. I told her that she was okay at the game but she was lucky I wasn’t her date because she’d be getting her own damn beer.

I busted on her accent every time I saw her (she’s from West Texas), and made her come to me to talk instead of walking to her. Her date had gone to get her another beer and she had to leave. She ignored him for most of the evening and didn’t want him to take her home if you know what I mean. Like I said, this guy is my friend so I didn’t do that to him, but I am tired of seeing these chicks walk all over him.

This is not the first time and I always wind up being the one his date flirts with. My message to every guy out there, don’t waste a LOT of time thinking about this stuff WITHOUT doing it like I did. And for Oprah’s sake, DON’T BE THE BEER WENCH!

C. Oklahoma



Don’t be the beer wench. Indeed.


Hey man, love your book and your newsletter. I am 42, losing my hair, could lose a few pounds and just got out of a hellish 15 year marriage. With your help I have the confidence I need to have dated 15 different women in the last 6 months, including several exotic dancers up to 15 years younger than me.

Today I had a few minutes to kill so I stopped by one of the strip clubs in Atlanta. This beautiful 28 year old dancer (who was filling in for the no-show waitress) came over to ask me what I would like to drink. I replied some of her sweat. With that she began to rub her chest all over my face.

I told her I was still thirsty and asked her if she had bottled any of her bath water. Anyway, she brought me a beer and sat down with me. I had her laughing the whole time. After she finished dancing a set I told her to stick with the waitressing. When she would look at me I would fake a yawn.

I told her I came in to watch the other dancers, not to talk to her. I would not look at her so she would stand in front of me. I then told her that her ass was blocking my view. I told her a story about my joking with a male co-worker. I suggested he get a part time job at Victoria’s Secret as the “hook man”, pulling G strings out of the customers asses. Yep, I got her number. Life is good.

H in Atlanta


Ah, another man who understands.

I have known several guys who date a lot of “exotic dancers” and they are ALL Cocky & Funny ball busters.

For some reason, dancers really key into this attitude and become attracted to guys who have that EXTREME cockyness mixed with dry humor.

Go figure.

Well, I guess I don’t have to tell you to enjoy yourself.


Jedi Master David,

I am a good looking guy with decent money, car, stuff, well built, etc. etc. and I have ALWAYS had to work my ASS off to get good looking, quality women – usually with no success. I would always wind up with some dysfunctional needy woman that would be attracted to me, instead of the others that I really wanted who were not attracted to me.

Hmmm, better call Unsolved Mysteries. (WUSS!) When I started reading your book my first impression was that you were encouraging people to play games and be fake in general. I finished it, felt that “maybe” there was something to it, and started to put it into action. I experienced un- fu@%ing-believable success (like 2-3 dates per week with different good looking girls), and I realized a few things:

  • I always had to work my ass off to COMPENSATE for being overly nice to women.
  • “Using” the C&F “routine” is actually MORE HONEST than the crap I became while trying to impress women. I mean really, C&F is often how we are around the ones we are most comfortable with right?
  • Women really want us to be C&F!!! And the ones that don’t and react negatively, trying to keep us in our “place”??? Who wants them anyway! They’re probably dysfunctional.
  • I realized that it kind of works both ways. I LOVE it when a women banters C&F with me and I get turned off by a needy, wuss woman. My whole life I have been a HYPOCRITE by being overly nice to women and yet I wanted confident, good looking women that were NOT overly nice to me. The irony.

Your new believer, AP from Riverside, CA


Oh, Ye of little faith. Let them be healed!

Yes, women really do love and appreciate it when you are a funny, challenging, Cocky & Funny guy. Really.

Yes, using these techniques is more HONEST than trying to manipulate women by buying gifts, flowers, and dinners.

Yes, it does work both ways. Women who are Cocky & Funny are GREAT FUN, and are more interesting all the way around.




i just want you and everyone else to know first of all that your CD audio series ROCKS!!! there is absolutely nothing in this world that can top it, and i’m DEAD SERIOUS! i’ve literally lost sleep at night by just staying awake and listening to your cd’s and i just can’t get enough of how impressive this material is. man, it’s GREAT!

I have a quick question to ask you, though. it involves a relationship so you’re going to have to bear with me here. i’ve been dating a girl for about 6 months now and her birthday is coming up soon. the question is what shall i get her to make her keep that ever-so-powerful feeling of ATTRACTION.

I want to make it really special and i remember you mentioning that it’s okay to do special things like this when you’ve been in a relationship for a while. what shall i do or buy her? i want to tell her that it’s a surprise but i can’t think of any ideas here. any advice of yours would greatly be appreciated. thanks and keep up the great work!




OK, as you know I don’t like to venture into the “relationship” realm, but I will make a comment here (especially since you’ve said that nothing in the world can top my Advanced Dating Techniques Program)…

If you have been seeing a woman for awhile, and you REALLY want to blow her mind, DO SEVERAL THINGS THAT SHE LIKES ALL IN ONE DAY OR EVENING.

Take her to her favorite restaurant, give her a gift of her favorite flowers, wear the clothes that you know she likes, rub her shoulders, and, um… give her some good lovin’.

Romance is wonderful, as long as you don’t overdo it and come across as a WUSSY.

Focus all of the things that she likes into one small window, and good things will come of it.

Then don’t do them again for awhile… AT ALL.

She’ll talk about that night forever, and she’ll always be wondering when the next one will come…

Now, you’re making me a little nervous with this whole idea of “laying awake at night listening to my CD program“.

That’s a little weird, dude.

lol… but I do appreciate the compliment.

I’ll tell you, I spent a lot of time putting this program together, and the fact that it has helped you meet a girl that you REALLY LIKE is fantastic (by the way, does she think it’s a little weird when you guys are in bed going to sleep, and you flip on the David D. CDs? Be careful, she might dig my sexy voice…).


I spent several years working on this area of my life… and it took so much trial and error… so many nights out with friends trying every idea I could find… and so many things that didn’t work just to find the concepts that worked like magic…

If you’re reading this right now, and you’d like to save yourself years of trial and error, and you’d like to instantly have more success with women, then you owe it to yourself to get your hands on some of my more ADVANCED materials…

First, go and download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“. It’s a fantastic introduction to my basic ideas and techniques… and the best part is you can download it now and be reading it within a few minutes. You can download it here:

Double Your Dating eBook

Next, if you’re interested in getting a powerful and condensed education on the topic of sparking and building ATTRACTION… and speaking the language I call “Sexual Communication”, then you need to go and check out my program that goes by the same name.

I can tell you right now that there has never been a program before that takes you “behind the scenes” and teaches you the MECHANICS of how to spark and build attraction and sexual tension with women…

This program is now available in its “Second Edition”, which means it’s full of updated ideas… and it’s available in DVD Video format.

Go watch some of the preview video clips of the program, and I think you will see why I’m so excited about it:

Sexual Communication

Finally, if you haven’t gotten your hands on a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques DVD/CD program, then you MUST get one.

As you read above, it’s having profound effects on the dating lives of guys… and I want YOU to have the same kind of success.

I’m so confident that you will get MASSIVE results with my programs that I will “put my money where my mouth is”, and let you try them at my risk. No joke…

Go check out the details, and let me send you one to try out for 30 days… before you even decide. All the info, plus some more great video clips, are here:

Advanced Series

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo