Interesting Story And Question
***QUESTION***
“David,
I have had a lot more success with women since I got your ebook. The techniques do work, however I realize that I have a ways to go before I really get rid of my bad habits in dealing with women and get to be good with your material.
Background and Question: I met this girl a year ago, we hit it off real well for quite a while, but then she went cold on me (you don’t have to say it:) I know, I started really liking her, and started to make all the wussy mistakes that most unenlightened guys make– the biggest mistake was that one night she was rather inebriated and obviously wanted sex, but I did not make any advances on her in that state; that was when she really lost interest in me.
So I got pissed at her for the way she was acting after that (ignoring me completely, not doing things with me she had committed to etc.), and didn’t contact her anymore (as a side note, I had not yet found your newsletter or ezine at the time, nor had I decided that I had to really get this aspect of my life dealt with–after she started acting uninterested, I decided that I must fix this part of my life–so I bought your ebook).
Let me explain that I am a very inexperienced guy when it comes to women (I am very young and still a virgin)–so I have some major stumbling blocks like getting up the courage to kiss her, to know HOW to transition it to the next level etc.
So after a couple of months, she called me and was all friendly like nothing ever happened. She told me she was seeing another guy, so I wished her the best and ended the call first–but I know she was curious at least about me (of course—she was not used to getting the cold shoulder from me).
It went on like this for several months (on friendly but very aloof terms for my part–I always had to go, ended the call first etc) till recently; she called me last week and invited me out with her to see some Flamenco dancing. I was noncommittal and said I would get back with her the next day to confirm or not. I was supposed to call her back the next day, but decided to make her call me so I wouldn’t look too interested. Sure enough she called me that afternoon and I accepted. She insisted that she pay for the tickets and treat me out (I told her that I was broke on the phone), and so we went.
On the way there she started to tell me that she was single again (hint) and that she was upset that she was shot down by a guy recently. Halfway through the performance, there was a break when we could talk and she bought us drinks, started to complain how she had never been asked for marriage (for crying out loud, she’s barely 20, and she is certainly cute with a great figure). She is also convinced that I have girls all over me–she kept bringing the subject, and Dave, I must say that I very skillfully didn’t answer her direct questions, but made it into cocky funny jokes. She still wonders…
I teased her about this for a bit and was cocky and funny the whole time. On the way home she wanted a light from me and I told her “for a kiss” in a funny way to which she said that she would find her own lighter and wasn’t a good kisser; I told her she needed to be taught by a good teacher, and that I would have to just steal that kiss and teach her (however I didn’t–no good opportunity arose as she was driving a difficult road and there was a console between us–should I have just kissed her anyway when I wanted to kiss her?).
Then we got home and she told me again that she was real tired and not feeling well (which she had been saying all evening, in fact even on the phone that day, and I think it was the truth) and I left after thanking her and kissing her on the cheek (there were no cues for me to make any moves so I didn’t).
OK– sorry for all the background but it is necessary. Now the questions: Is she interested in me again as I think? Did I handle it alright for a novice? What cues do I need to put my arm around her and cuddle, etc., or do I need any cue from her to do these things? She is not a touchy feely person.
And finally, how should I handle it from now on? This is most important. There is a dance this Saturday, should I ask her out or stay aloof?
Thanks my friend,
C.
My Comments :
Your email made an impact on me… because it covers a lot of different real-world issues that us guys have to face all the time with women.
Sometimes a woman will be flirting with you, then the next time she’s cold as a fish.
Sometimes it will seem like she likes you, then it won’t.
Often, if you stop calling a woman who didn’t seem interested, she’ll start calling you.
Here are a few things to remember:
1) Women are attracted to men for very different reasons (in general) than men are attracted to women for.
2) Women are, in my experience, far more “fickle”. In other words, one day they’ll seem interested, the next day they won’t.
3) If a woman knows that you’re completely taken with her at the very beginning, she’ll be FAR less likely to be taken with YOU.
You’re doing just fine.
One of the most important things you can possibly do right now is to REMEMBER NOT TO TAKE ANY OF THIS PERSONALLY… AND NOT LET ANY OF IT DRIVE YOU CRAZY.
If you stick with it, keep learning, and keep practicing, you will start to get a “feel” for what’s going on with women.
And soon, you’ll be sitting back, thinking to yourself:
“Well, let’s see… I’ll bet that when this girl meets guys they fall for her quickly. Guys probably call her all the time. I’m going to call her, get off the phone quickly, give her some space, and if she doesn’t call me within a week or so I’ll give her another short call.”
And you’ll know which situations to do this in and why this is the right thing to do.
…and to anyone reading this right now:
If you’re in a place where you have made the decision that it’s time to get this part of your life handled, and you’d like to learn more about female psychology, how to attract women, how to meet more women, how to get women’s email addresses and phone numbers, how to meet women online, how to take things from the first meeting all the way to the bedroom, and everything in between, then I’d highly recommend that you go and download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“. Just go to:
http://www.datingquestionsformen.com/double-your-dating
…right now and get your copy. You’ll learn the techniques that it’s taken me years to find, learn, develop, and refine.
And I’ll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo