Making a Commitment
***QUESTION***
“Dave,
Keep up the good work! It helped be bag (or should I say bed) a 25-year-old cutie. I’m 35.
After sleeping together five times during the last three weeks, she suddenly asked me if she could start introducing me as her boyfriend. I like her, don’t really need to sleep with other women (for now), but got uneasy: I currently fear commitment of any sort, having recently left a five-year relationship.
So what I said, without losing a beat, nor my humor, was, “Gee, I guess you could call me anything you want!”
Not sure this was the best way out. Your opinion?”
K.”
>MY COMMENTS:
So you used the old bag-and-bed technique on her, eh?
Even though I don’t discuss the big “R” word very often (relationships), I’d like to make a quick comment.
When I first start seeing a woman, I like to tell her what my perspective is on relationships. I feel that it makes everything go more smoothly, whether it turns into a relationship or not. And it goes a little something like this:
“I think that people get into relationships too fast. I think that two people should wait a MINIMUM of a few months before they even think about it. I have to know someone before I’m running around calling them my g-friend.”
This is a very condensed version, but you get the point.
A point to remember: I REALLY BELIEVE THIS. So I’m not just saying something I don’t believe in order to manipulate her.
And, as a side note: I promote the idea that men should understand how the whole men-women-attraction-sex thing works… but I don’t like the idea of lying, manipulating, and misleading people just to get what you want. It’s a challenge to stay in the zone of having integrity, being honest, and staying true to yourself… while at the same time learning new techniques that can, at first, feel like you’re “manipulating”. You don’t have to lie, cheat, or mislead in order to be successful with women. So don’t.
***SUCCESS STORY***
“Hey Dave,
I’ve gone from a shy, only-talking-to-girls-I-meet-online-fellow, to a talk-to-you-at-the-drop- of-a-hat type of guy, and it’s all thanks to you! I came up with a rather cocky/funny approach about a month ago and since then I’ve met 6 girls for coffee. 2 of them happened to be physical therapy majors and both of them offered to give me some “sexual healing.”
Anyway, I work at my school’s gym so I get to see girls in there little shorts, hehe. I would call the prospect over to the desk I’m at and ask her if she’s single.
If she says yes, I respond, “so if I did this, (start running my finger through her hair while I whisper in her ear I wanted to lay her down and kiss her from head to toe and back up again) “you wouldn’t have to deal with telling your b/f you’ve begun seeing someone else?” And being that they’re on their way to the cardio room, I have just enough time to use your “gimme your e-mail & phone number thing.”
By the way, I’m a relatively short guy (5’5) so really, it is all your approach. On a side note, I have 4 girls from online that I’ve made plans to link up with for a midnite rendezvous. ‘course the number is higher but only these four are in my area. Anyway, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK PLAYA!!!!”
>MY COMMENTS:
Well, now you’ve done it…
Your story actually sounds UN-real! lol… but I’ll also tell you something from personal experience…
I’VE SEEN GUYS DO THINGS THAT MAKE THIS LOOK TAME MANY TIMES, IN PERSON, WITH MY OWN TWO EYES.
It’s so hard for most men who have never had any success with women to identify with a story like yours. They’ll say “Well, it’s because you work at the gym” or “He’s probably in good shape” or whatever.
While these things may be true, you also mentioned something else in your story: YOU DIDN’T USE TO BE THIS WAY, AND NOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE MINDSET AND HOW TO USE IT, YOU ARE.
By the way, isn’t that Marvin Gaye technique SWEEEEEET?
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo