Playing the Power Game
***QUESTION***
“Hello,
I truly believe that this is a great site. I am learning a whole lot about the opposite sex. I saw myself in the last story. I had meet this beautiful girl at a club. I walked up to her we started communicating for almost 30min.
So i asked her to dance she then told me no. So i thought to myself why would she say no after having a great conversation. I then asked for her telephone number-she again said no.
She then went and danced with another guy after she told me she is not in a dancing mood. While dancing with this guy she kept looking towards my direction. But i played it cool-as if i did not have a care in the world. So i left the club.
The following weekend i saw her again-but did not look into her direction but she then walked up to me and started talking. So i kept the conversation brief by telling her that i am talking to my friends. She then asked if i want to dance, i told her again i am talking to my friends. Anyway by the end of the night she asked for my number and i gave it to her. Now we have been hanging out for a few weeks but here is my question.
We have chilled at my place and her place. Eat dinner, she has spend the night at my place and i at her place. But no Sex. She refuse to have sex (as she say not yet b/c it changes things). I mean we have kiss, undressed each other but no sex. I do believe that she is playing a power game. She wants to control the sex part. I think i pamper her too much and i am losing control of my stance (open doors, cook dinner-breakfast, out to eat etc). I really like her.
What you think.
O.”
>MY COMMENTS:
lol… please forgive me for laughing at what must be a painful experience for you… LOL!
Ouch.
OK, so here’s my analysis:
1) She knew that she owned you from the very beginning.
2) You did the right thing by not acting overly-anxious at the second meeting.
3) She probably said to herself: “Oh, he’s playing hard to get, huh? Well, I’ll bet that he’s really just a wussy-boy that I can have some fun with… so let’s find out.”
4) SHE KNOWS THAT YOU WANT HER BADLY. And, as you probably learned in economics, price goes up as demand goes up.
5) You sure do have a keen sense of the obvious with your assessment of “I do believe she is playing a power game” and your ability to discern that she’s controlling the sex.
6) You need to turn the tables around, stop needing her so badly, and STOP ACTING LIKE A WUSSY!
OK, so how do you do this? Well, the short answer is:
http://www.datingquestionsformen.com/double-your-dating
Spend a few hours with that material, and you’ll know what to do. I guarantee it.
***QUESTION***
“David,
I am a 39 year old guy and am still single because of a lot of personal problems I went thru in the early and mid 1990s (nothing too serious–wasn’t arrested, didn’t go bankrupt, wasn’t psycho, etc). Now that all of this is in the past, I’ve been venturing out into the dating scene again. As I’m more serious about finding a relationship, I prefer women in their 30s and early 40s.
My question is this:
Do you think that the “cocky and funny” routine works on women in their 30s and 40s too? It seems to me that women of this age group who are divorced/single do not want to play games as much. I’m not looking to play games either.
Or should I take a modified approach to cocky/funny?
Thanks,
Dating in Chicago”
>MY COMMENTS:
You’re using the word “games” here to describe the cocky/funny attitude, and I think that we’re mixing up our definitions and associations.
When I think of “games” as the term relates to men, women, and dating, I think of things like lying, cheating, and manipulation (in the negative sense).
Cocky and funny is a fun, attractive attitude that is VERY attractive in general – to women of all ages.
And yes, women that are in their 30s and early 40s love it.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo