Should I Give Her More Space?



I have a question. A few months back I started dating this fantastic woman. We hit it off instantly. I have been practicing the cockiness before with great success. She loved it and things went along great.

The mixture of romance and cockiness worked very well but stopped working. The problem is that she has suddenly decided she does not want a boyfriend right now because she has many things to work out. I have given her space, and she will email me or call after a few days to see what I’m up to, but no indication of when or if we will go out again. Do I give up, keep at what I’m presently doing, or just move on?


T. in Dallas”

My Comments:

This is only a guess because I don’t know all of the details, but my guess is that you DIDN’T GIVE HER ENOUGH SPACE.

You probably called her too much, saw her too much, and acted like a clingy-boy.

When a woman says any of the following:

I don’t want a relationship right now

I really care about our friendship and don’t want to mess that up

I like you as a friend

I need some time to find myself

…it usually can be translated thusly:

You were cool at the beginning, but you started acting like a wuss, and I just don’t FEEL IT for you.


Don’t call often. End conversations first. Give her space. Always end interactions too soon, and on a high note…

Get it?

Don’t take it personally, take responsibility.

And remember, ATTRACTION ISN’T LOGICAL. Women aren’t attracted to what they SHOULD be attracted to.

If you want women to feel attraction, you’re going to have to learn how to create it.

Stay tuned.


“Dear David:

I’ve had a lot of success dating on the Internet, but I would always respond with the typical, boring description and “hope to hear” sort of introduction, and let my picture do the selling, as I am a handsome guy. Well, last night I was browsing and I saw a BEAUTIFUL woman.

I responded with the “let me guess, you get about 50 emails a day from geeks” email. Well, her response back started out with “How did you get my password, because you must have been reading my emails”, and ended with “so what do you do when you’re not writing charming emails?”. I included my photo, but I think I’m in here.



My Comments :

Isn’t that GREAT?!

I love to hear stories like this one…

By the way, you would absolutely not believe that volume of email that comes in to me saying “Hey, I lost the newsletter with the personal ad response in it… can you send it to me again?” and “Everyone is talking about how well the personal ad letter you wrote works… can you send it to me?” and such.

If only I had the time to sit at my computer day and night answer all of the requests…

In any event, make sure you get her on the phone ASAP, and don’t dilly-dally. Strike while the iron is hot.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo