What NEVER To Say To A Woman

DATING QUESTION FROM A READER:

I have recently started to like this girl a lot. We hang out almost everyday, and everybody that is around us say that we act like we are going out. We flirt all of the time, but i dont want to be the one that admits that i like her first. I have also become really good friends with one of her friends and she told her friend that she likes me and everything, but she hasn’t really had too much experience in dating.

She is one of the nicest girls in the world and she is very pretty so I dont really understand why. I really want to tell her that i like her, but i have read your book and you always seem to push getting the girl to admit it to you first. I think she may be too shy to do this though. Would it be ok to admit it to her first in this situation? I know you probably think hanging out with her everyday seems needy, but she is the one that calls me everyday and it is very hard to turn her down. Any suggestions would be greatly apreciated. Thanks.

MY COMMENTS:

Nice.

Well, today is your lucky day… for today I’m going to give you advice that will probably be PRICELESS to you.

First, let me start with some ranting, raving, and confusing double-talk, then we’ll get to the good stuff.

I’ll begin by verbally abusing you for not paying attention to what I say, then drift into a little bit of talk about exactly what to do in your situation.

I hope you can tell I’m in a fun mood…

THE VERBAL ABUSE:

It’s annoying when I go through all the trouble to explain a concept in detail… and try 100 ways to say it in my newsletters, eBook, etc. and then someone JUST DOESN’T GET IT.

In your email you say:

“I really want to tell her that i like her, but i have read your book and you always seem to push getting the girl to admit it to you first.”

Now, what I’m about to say might sound a little bit “trivial” to you. You might call it “semantics”, like the smart people do.

But, pay attention.

CLOSE attention.

I do not recommend that you get a woman to admit that she likes you FIRST.

Getting a woman to admit that she likes you “first” naturally implies that you “admit it” BACK.

And I DO NOT say, “admit it back” OR “admit it later” OR anything else of the sort.

Why is this so important?

Simple, really.

I personally believe that TELLING a woman that you “like her” is one of the WORST things you can do.

If you want a woman to know that you like her, the best way is to have her FIGURE IT OUT by the fact that you guys are getting PHYSICALLY INVOLVED.

Let me confuse the issue further…

“Telling her” that you like her and “feeling like you really want to tell her” are two completely different issues, and they’re BOTH bad… but for different reasons.

TELLING her is bad because it takes the MAGIC, the SUSPENSE, the MYSTERY, and the SEXUAL TENSION out of the situation.

It pops the balloon.

It kills the chemistry.

FEELING like you want to tell her and then asking about HOW to tell her is bad because it shows that you’re not GETTING IT.

Before I go on, I must tell YOU something in particular…

What you REALLY need to get your hands on is a copy of my “Deep Inner Game” program, and learn to get some control over your emotions. I’m serious here. Go check it out… it will help you BIG time:

Deep Inner Game

ANOTHER TANGENT

All right, so let’s go off on tangent number 2…

You mentioned in your email that this girl you’re seeing is inexperienced in the dating world.

If she’s REALLY inexperienced, then you might be in big trouble.

See, she might be falling IN LOVE with you.

All of this seeing her every day business but not taking things to the next level (and feeling like you want to tell her how you feel really really really badly) might be setting her up emotionally for a late-night drive to Vegas and marriage vows at the Drive Thru with Elvis.

If a woman is inexperienced, then it’s very important that you NOT screw this up. If you do, it might be bad.

Another thought: When you’re with an inexperienced woman, it’s sometimes a good idea to “dial down” the ball-busting and the Cocky & Funny a little bit.

Instead of having it turned up to a 9.5, dial it back to a 5.79235 setting. That will probably work better for you and her.

WHAT TO DO

So, let’s talk a bit about ATTRACTION.

It happens for reasons that are difficult to explain to a person who has a “bad model” of how it works.

But, let’s just say that if it DOES happen, you want to AMPLIFY it. You don’t want to WEAKEN it.

One of the problems with “telling her how you feel” is that it instantly changes the dynamics of the situation.

When you say, “I like you” – in her head the woman hears:

“He is admitting to me that he likes me, which gives me all the power, which, for some strange reason, makes me not like him as much anymore.”

I realize that this sounds crazy, and doesn’t make a whole lot of “logical sense”, but it’s what usually happens.

It has a lot to do with the fact that when most guys say, “I like you” they sound like needy kittens that just want to cuddle and suckle the bosom of mommy… which isn’t exactly “attraction creating” stuff.

If you want to “tell” a woman that you “like her”, the best way to do it is to ADVANCE PHYSICALLY.

In other words, TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

DO something, don’t SAY something.

Words are to be used when ACTIONS don’t work better.

And this is NOT one of those cases.

Remember “The Kiss Test” I talk about on my website?

Use it.

Remember the sequence that I describe in the bonus booklet that you got with Double Your Dating called “Sex Secrets”?

Use it.

But DO NOT “tell her how you feel”.

Unless, of course, you want to drive to Vegas.

Finally, let me give you some advice about this situation of “she calls me everyday to hang out and I can’t turn her down”.

TURN HER DOWN.

I know, I know… Powerful.

If you’re in love with this girl and want to marry her, have kids with her, drive your cute brats to soccer practice in your white minivan, and wear lots of Dockers clothing, then forget what I’m telling you.

Who knows, you might have found one of those rare, wonderful women that so many of us are looking for.

BUT, if you’re just at the stage where it’s time to take things to the next level, then do it with your ACTION, not with your WORDS.

Now, if you’re reading what I’m telling this guy and saying, “I really need to learn how to make women feel attraction for me” – then I have to agree with you.

You REALLY DO need to learn.

It’s important.

Very important.

My latest book, “Attraction Isn’t A Choice” will give you a behind-the-scenes look at how to trigger that magical physical and emotional response that we call ATTRACTION.

Inside, I’ll teach you why there’s a HUGE difference between what women SAY they want in a man… and what makes women feel ATTRACTION.

I’ll also teach you how to “go to work on yourself” to become the kind of man that AUTOMATICALLY and INSTANTLY triggers this attraction in the women you meet and interact with.

I could go on and on, but you should just go and download the eBook here, and start reading it:

Attraction ebook

NEXT, you need to get your hot little hands on a copy of my newest CD/DVD program, “Cocky Comedy And Other Conversation Skills”.

If you get nervous when you talk to women, don’t feel like you know what to say to women, and want to learn how to make women LAUGH… and in doing so have them feel more ATTRACTION for you, then this program is going to literally change
your life.

I have one warning:

Make sure you set aside at LEAST an entire day to go through the program.

The emails I’m getting from guys are saying things like, “I started to watch the program, and wound up staying home all day and missing three appointments because I was riveted to the screen”.

I’m not joking at all.

This program will supercharge your communication skills and teach you how to be “Cocky & Funny” with every woman you meet… Go watch killer sample clips of the program here:

Cocky Comedy

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo