Why A Wussy Can't Attract Women



I got your book and I’ve read it twice. It’s helped me to pinpoint areas where I need to improve and basically understand some of why women do what they do. However I have a situation. Normally, I’m a smart ass, I’m always making smart comments, and a general joker. The problem is, when I go to a club or a bar, with gorgeous HBs (Hot Babes), my mind goes blank. It’s almost like my brain locks and all i can do is look without anything to say. Needless to say it frustrates the hell outta me. Any advice? Should I do some affirmations? How do I overcome this?


Pissed off in DC


I think your problem is really pretty simple.

You are experiencing something that I have been through a bazillion times. In fact, I think that most guys have been through this cycle at some point in life.

One of the ideas that I teach is “Have one good default thing to do in each common situation“.

In other words, it sounds to me like you just haven’t taken the time to work out a basic system for yourself that will allow you to meet any woman you come across in one of these situations.

Here’s your homework:

Take out a piece of paper right now, and write down your one single favorite way to start a conversation with a woman.

Next, plan out EXACTLY how it should go in your mind.

Next, mentally rehearse this scenario over and over and over until you have it clearly in your mind.

Finally, go out tomorrow night and use this one introduction to meet 10 women.

The next day, sit down again for a few minutes and think about how it worked for you.

Think about ways you could improve your approach, and if you come up with some good innovations, go ahead and do the same process of mentally rehearsing the new ideas until you have them down.


You need one good, solid, default thing to do in each common situation with women. So pick one, and refine it until your mind no longer goes blank!


Hey, one of the things I noticed about stupid guys who can’t get laid or even a phone number is that they aren’t around women enough. Having your own business, or doing sales makes you realize that you have to let people, or in this case women know about your product, you.

I am always amazed by guys who whine they can’t meet any chicks and then stay home and masturbate on a Friday night, or even worse drink at some dive bar where there are no women. This may sound rudimentary but go shopping once in a while, be around them; there are insecure women everywhere for the taking, especially on a Sunday afternoon, if you know what I mean.


Preach it, my brother.

Sometimes I don’t mention the obvious enough. And I thank you for reminding me and everyone else of one of the basic fundamental truths about being successful with women.

Thanks again!



I read some of your articles that I found very interesting. My brother shows me it and tell me a lot of things that he had learned. But I used to ask him, what can I do to attract man. He suggest me to ask you, maybe you can give me some advice or show me a good link for women.

For about 13 years, I was part of a very strict religion. Now I’m out of it. I’m 28 years old and still virgin. I feel very naive about relationships and sex and I’m looking for good advices about these topics. Which web sites would you recommend me? Is your program going to help a female? I would really appreciate your help.

Thanks in advance.



Well, if you want to get the virginity thing handled, just go out any night to any bar in any town and walk up to any guy and say “Hi, would you like to have sex?”

It goes without saying that you’ll want to use protection, but as a woman I don’t think you’re going to have much of a problem meeting a willing man!


I thought your email was interesting because most guys assume WAY too much about women, and they don’t realize that women are insecure, inexperienced, and uncertain in many situations as well.



First off, fantastic book! It’s the Holy Grail of Manhood, methinks! I have plenty of girls getting a rise out of my C-F attitude–it doesn’t make sense at all but, like you say, to them it’s magic. For example, a few weeks ago I approached a really attractive girl (about an 8.5) at a stop walk downtown by busting on her about her platform heels she had on (made some reference to Studio 54), got her digits and told her we should have coffee sometime–she loved the idea.

When we met downtown for coffee, she said there was a particular shoppe she would like to go to, I firmly said ‘No’ and took her to another one. It was fantastic Dave!!! The day was beautiful and, yes, there was much more for dessert that day than my Biscotti :)

Now, I just graduated college and work in a large Midwestern city. I’m a good looking guy, well dressed, smart, pretty nice job, stylish…the whole package, right? I also have a thing for older women…MILF’s if you will. I’ve recently been hitting this martini bar where quite a few attractive (and well-to-do) women go. I’ve been reluctant to use the CF technique that I use on college girls on older women, as they probably don’t play the same ‘games’ younger ladies do. What is your advice? Younger girls are great and energetic, but those 35-year old’s have something you only get with age…experience.

Thanks Dave!! Can’t wait for the next book!!

D, Indianapolis


Mature, intelligent women LOVE a Cocky & Funny man.

I think you’re going to find that sophisticated women are FAR MORE receptive to your new charm techniques than their younger counterparts…

But be careful. Older women are more experienced, have been through more games, and know what they want and how to get it.

You might be writing me soon to ask me why your new girlfriend has you wearing a collar and barking like a dog.


Dear Dave,

First off, props to you on the book. The book is really about how to take control of your life and get what you want from it. That’s awesome. I dated this really gorgeous chick that was in med school. I did the whole cocky and funny routine. Works like magic. Here’s an example: “I love you, V.” Me laughing … I love me too. That’s when I had to bail on her. She even bought me some pimp Versace gear.

I am stuck in a difficult situation. Due to the way I look, dress, and talk, girls assume that I am a player. I am very,very inexperienced however. I have had a few times where I am about to seal the deal, and some girl will ask me, “How many girls have you been with ?” or “You are a player aren’t you ?

I have never sealed the deal and if I tell them this they don’t believe me and some will just get mad and leave. I am not sure what I should say in this situation. I think some of your book is based on being able to kiss properly such as the kiss test or the c+f comment, “I don’t even know if you kiss well. ” I do not even know how to kiss properly. I can be cocky and funny and can attract girls but then I don’t know how to be cocky and funny and bring up that I have never done anything. Please help me resolve this because armed with my determination and my improving skills.



You’re too much.

She even bought you “some pimp Versace gear”?


OK, you say that you’ve read my book, but you must have missed page 92. I explain exactly how to deal with this kind of situation (“How To Answer Any Question That You Don’t Want To Answer”).

Here, let me get creative for you…

She asks: “Are you a player?”

You answer: “Are you trying to hide the fact that YOU are?”

One key in situations like this is to NEVER give a woman a direct answer.

Use your Cocky & Funny skills to come up with 5 good answers, and use them.

Maybe say, “Yes, I play sports… what do you like?”

As you can see, I like to turn questions and accusations around and guess that they’re trying to hide the fact that what they’re asking about is something wrong with THEM.

Just don’t answer directly… and most women will give up.

If you get defensive and say “Oh, no no no… I’m not a Player at all…” most women won’t believe you anyway – even if you’re NOT a player. You need some more “Cocky & Funny” skillz, my man. Go read this to get them:

Cocky Comedy


Hey Dave, well, like everyone else that’s written I must say your book helped, even before when I read your letters every week they helped. I’ve had a lot of success. Well I would of never expected myself to email you, cause there was really no point, cause your book helped a lot, but sadly… that day has come, where I need help.. oh yes. Ok, Thanks to you I got jiggy with it, got girls, but I fell head over heals with this one girl.

Make a long story short. I went out with her, she’d always have fun, but still I wasn’t always at my full potential cause she was the one that made me feel all tingly inside and I had just gotten your book. But, there was this one occasion where I listened to my friend.. he said “tell her you like her”.. but I knew I shouldn’t cause you always say never tell a girl you like them. Well, you guessed it. I told her that.

And everything started going down hill after that. And to make matters worse, I finished everything off with her, and well said some things I regret. After that happened and tried to forget about her, but she IMed me once saying she wanted to give me back something I had given her for her birthday, but she didn’t want to give it to me personally. Still had fun teasing her, but nothing.

Then I went out with some girls got #’s to keep my mind off her. Went on vacation. but nothing. 2 months without her drove me crazy, so I emailed her a couple times 3 to be exact. Made them as cocky and funny as they could be. But no cigar. Now I’m just doomed. Sure people have told me to move on, and probably you’ll say that. But I’ve tried, but I feel like she’s the one. But she despises me, or so I think. So Dave, is there something you can tell this grashopper to try get her back or try to do to I don’t know.. it’s tough though.





As you know, you’ve done a VERY VERY VERY bad thing…


Here’s your homework:

Take out an entire blank notebook full of paper and write the following by hand:

“I will not act like a WUSSY. I will not act like a WUSSY. I will not act like a WUSSY.”

When you’ve filled the notebook you may stop.

Get it?


And of course you’ve gone and made the situation worse with each move you’ve made… probably to the point where there’s not much you’re going to be able to do about it.

Just get on with your life, and let this be a lesson to you and anyone reading this. Don’t act like a WUSSY! Don’t tell a woman you “like” her too early on. Don’t call her too often. Don’t act clingy and needy. STOP THAT!

When you act like a Wuss, women lose their ATTRACTION for you… and they can’t even explain why it’s happening.

So stop it!



I have to say first and foremost that you are a genius. While I have had some very good looking girlfriends, it never dawned on me the reason that we were never together very long was because I acted like a wuss, and got way too clingy. I am not a great looking guy, but most girls (even really good looking ones), have described me as being “cute” (consequently, I have realized that a guy’s looks have very, very little to do with being successful with women–maybe like 5%).

I have been putting your tactics to work lately and I have to admit they work like a charm, as I have gotten more email addresses and phone numbers than I know what to do with. I am a House DJ in a nightclub and this affords me the perfect opportunity to talk to good looking girls since I am approached by or talked to at least 3 or 4 times a night by such girls, either asking me questions about the music or if I have a certain song.

While I don’t have a lot of time to talk to them (usually no more than 2 or 3 minutes), I have been able to get their email and phone numbers very quickly using your techniques (even when their boyfriends are with them at the club…hahahaha… more on that later). Basically, I start busting on them about something or other and get them laughing (usually because they don’t know the name of the song and start trying to imitate it or sing the words in it…), and then I come out with “So, are you single?”. Most of the time they tell me “no, I have a boyfriend”.

Now this is an important point for a lot of your readers. Everyone, listen up!

Just because a woman says she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean it’s true.

I have found on numerous occasions that women I have gotten emails and phone numbers from have been single, after they have told me they have a boyfriend. It almost seems like they are using it as a test to see what you are going to do. I really don’t get it, but I stopped trying to figure it out, just follow your advice and don’t let it worry me. Most of the time when they say they have boyfriends they offer no resistance when I ask for their email and phone number. (Forgive me Dave, I haven’t followed your advice to the “T”.

I admit I haven’t attempted the “it was nice meeting you, I need to get back to work.” and then as she is leaving say “Hey! do you have an email?” The method I use has been working pretty good for me, but I will try doing this when I meet women outside the club, especially the ones at the gym I go to– which I haven’t really approached yet)

One case that stands out in particular happened last weekend when this extremely hot brunette with a body to die for (probably 9.75/10) came up and we started talking.(the guy running the lights almost started drooling) She told me right off the bat she had a boyfriend. I asked if she was tired of him yet, and she giggled and said “no, we’ve been going out for about 3 years, we’ve had our ups and downs, but things are going allright now.”, smiled and then said to me “you are so sweet though” and put her head on my shoulder.

She then immediately asked me “Why, are you single?” I laughed and said “Maybe. Why, do you know someone who might be interested in me?” She smiIed again, and I knew I had her at this point. I then said “Don’t you think it’s going to be hard to think of your boyfriend when it’s so obvious you are attracted to me?” She smiled again and kind of cocked her head sideways, but didn’t say anything, so I followed up with “Wow, three years is a long time…when’s the wedding date?” She said “Oh, he isn’t really the kind of guy I’m looking to marry…”, and I said “then stop wasting your time with him and give me your email address.”

She gave me a “deer in the headlights” look, like she was in shock at what I said, but then immediately said “OK”, took the pen and proceeded to write it down. While she was doing this I said “and go ahead and write down you phone number too.” She said “OK” again and wrote it down. Then she handed it to me and said, almost reluctantly “I have a boyfriend you know…”. I then pulled a line that one of your other readers used in one of the newsletters (these newsletters definitely come in handy!

Sometimes I almost fall out my chair laughing at what some of the other people write in with… hahaha), saying “Look, I understand that must be a major accomplishment for someone that looks like you. I can’t imagine any guy that would want to be seen in public with you. He probably got tired of you begging…” She acted hurt, slapped me in the arm and said “you are so mean!” My song was running out at this point, so I told her I needed to get back to work, and she kissed me on the cheek, rubbed her hand from my shoulder down my chest and said “you better call me…” and left.

In the past I would have just talked to her for a minute, found out she had a boyfriend and then stopped talking to her, but after reading your material I just keep going, and I am realizing that most women will still give out their information to a total stranger even when they have boyfriends. I was shocked to find this out! I asked one of my woman friends about this and she laughed and told me that most women aren’t entirely happy with their relationships. I asked her why do they keep going out with that person if they really aren’t happy and she said “because nothing better has come along…” Amazing!

Thanks again! Keep up the good work!




Yes, women will say ALL KINDS OF THINGS when you first meet them… especially attractive women.

But, as you’ve seen, these things often aren’t true, or are just smoke screens to protect them from having to deal with a bunch of loser guys who want to waste their time.

Your email is great. It should be read 10 times by any guy who is learning about this stuff, and memorized.


One of the very best things you can do for your success with women is to PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION THAT CAUSES THEM TO APPROACH YOU.

Be a musician, a pottery or yoga or dance teacher, a DJ, a bartender, or a women’s shoe salesman.

This is an amazing way to really improve your skills with women and skyrocket your success.



Your material is golden. The c+f routine and tips have done me wonders, but you know they work so ill get to the point. I have been working on this girl for quite some time (shes a ten and worth it), I built the anticipation, got her to give me her phone number: she has asked me to hang out and repeatedly emailed me askin me what I’m up to. However! I waited a little while to actually ask her to hang out (to make me look a little busy), but when I did call her and ask her to hang out she said sure, and said she would call me right back and never did!……and to make things worse, she wrote me an email the next day telling me she forgot to call me back!

she’s so sorry, bla bla bla etc……..I know the girl thinks about me and I know she wants to hang out with me, why would she do that?……calling her repeatedly would be a wussy move: am i right?…..I blew it of and gave her a c+f answer saying do u expect me to believe that, I’m starting to think I make you nervous. I honestly don’t think she forgot, is this a game?……This is the first 10 I’ve encountered since I’ve used your techniques so I need some advice. I wanna make this one count.


JR New Jersey


Nice… you’re doing great.

Here’s something to remember:

Attractive women are approached ALL THE TIME by men.

Some attractive women give out their number several times every night they go out.

This is reality.

Often, attractive women will actually give out their number JUST TO GET RID OF YOU.


Some women get an “ego hit” of power and self esteem when a lot of guys are calling them.

But this leads to another problem… the problem of not having enough time to see all of these men (or never even intending to from the beginning).

You’re going to find that a lot of women “flake out” when you make plans with them.

I will say that the fact that she emailed you the next day to tell you that she forgot to call you is a positive sign. If she just wanted you to go away, she wouldn’t have done this.

You need to bust her balls, make fun of her for flaking, and tell her that she’s on strike one.

You might want to tell her “Well, since you flaked out on me once, now you have to take ME out. Here’s my address and the directions to my house. Come pick me up.”

You need to let her know that it’s NOT OK for her to be flaky, and at the same time use her flaky behavior as material to tease her with.

Be persistent. You’ll learn how to deal with this as you date more women.



I have been reading your emails for about 6 months and think you are totally, exactly, completely, right on target. I just started dating a guy that I am attracted to and I who really like, but I don’t feel strong attraction. I realized that it’s because I’m a bit of a smartass, and most of the time when I bust on him, he takes it – I really don’t want him to at all, ever! Do you have any advice for women on how to get a man to “be a man”?!

Is there something I could say to him that would do the trick? Maybe a little less blunt than “I really need a man who won’t take my crap, can you do that?” He doesn’t have email (yes, he does have electricity!) and I don’t know him well enough yet to tell him to buy your book – we’ve only had one date. I just want him to stop letting me get away with being a brat! Please don’t tell me I have to stop being a brat – that would ruin the fun. I look forward to your speedy reply – as we’ll be going on another date this weekend! Thanks for all that you do for the women of the world. You are my hero. :)


Oh, yes. That’s me…

David DeAngelo, the unselfish helper of women.

Well, here’s the deal. Trying to teach a guy how to stop acting like a WUSSY isn’t easy.

I would suggest that you send him to my website and tell him to read my newsletters.

I realize that it doesn’t sound very romantic, but you have a choice: Either help him to stop acting so damn “nice” or tell him to get lost.

Hey, maybe he’d make a “sweet, minivan driving house-husband” for you?

Sounds charming, doesn’t it?

NOTE TO GUYS: Women aren’t ATTRACTED to “nice”.


great newsletter

I’m still bumbed out on one thing though i have read the book unstoppable confidence and it says the way to get along with people is similarity cooperation and praise you are telling me its being a total jerk i just don’t get it please help



I am not, do not, and have not EVER told ANYONE that “The way to get along with people is to be a total jerk.”


No no no.

What I DO say is that jerks often create an amazing feeling of ATTRACTION inside of women, and that there are ways that the average guy like you and me can take some of those things that “jerks” do, and use these powerful techniques WITHOUT THE ABUSIVE PARTS to make women attracted to US instead.

Make no mistake about it, I don’t think it’s a good idea to act like a “jerk” to other people.

But I DO think it’s a GREAT idea to tease women, bust on them, be Cocky & Funny, and play hard to get.

You need to pay more specific attention to what I’m saying, and stop looking to pop psychology and self-help books to teach you how to attract women.



First off, let me say that your newsletters and E-Book are awesome. They satisfied nearly every inquiry I have had in regards to getting started with women. Needless to say my success rate has gone through the roof! I will be ordering the audio series soon. …Which brings me to my question. This is a complex one, with story behind so please bear with me.. Here goes:

I am recently single and jumped back into the dating game. One of the first nights I went out as a single man, one of my female friends and I kissed on a bet. I did not know of the bet, but I thought nothing of it after I found out. Although the girl that had kissed me was attractive, i had no feeling for her, just as I thought there was no feeling on her side. We will refer the this girl as Girl A.

We saw each other a couple more times, with added intimacy but left things on a very strictly emotionless basis. She had commented that she did not want me getting attached, and I reminded her that there was no cause for her to worry. Some days later, hanging out in a bar with the same group of friends, I employed some of your most valuable tactics and met Girl B. Things were much different.

I was very attracted to Girl B and I felt as though I had her attention as well. We talked at the bar, and as it turns out she is very good friends with some of my other female friends. We all ended up back at a friend’s apartment, and Girl B and I sat on the couch, and talked for hours. We eventually decided to stay over and sort of fell over. We made a week attempt at sleeping and ended up kissing and holding each other all night. It was everything that I wanted to happen. Because I am a gentleman, I did nothing more than kiss. I felt chemistry and did not want to rush things. Besides, the anticipation is fun! The very next weekend, there was a party at the same apartment. Both Girl A and Girl B were present.

Needless to say I payed attention to Girl B. Contrary to my original thoughts, Girl A did not like this. Towards the end of the night, girl A made a scene and called me out to discuss this. After clearing up the problem, I went back looking for Girl B, but did not find her. I was advised that she was on her way to the car. I caught her on her way to the car and asked her if i could talk to her. after an explanation of the situation, and assurance that girl A is out of the picture, she gave me her phone #s and thats how we left it. Since, Girl B has been reluctant to return calls and get together. A situation that had worked great from the start is now compromised by someone else…

How can I win back the affections of girl B. I felt a connection with her, and would love to get back on the right track. Our mutual friends have not been of assistance so far. I try calling, but I feel as though if I called as much as I’d like to I’d look like a wuss. I have had no problem with setting up mystery.

I drive a hot car, play semi pro sports, and use these things carefully and only discuss when asked. Don’t want to look too arrogant! What else should I try, or how should I act to achieve the desired result? I know getting another girl, or even flirting in front of her, while not impossible would kill any chances… While “Cocky and Funny” got my foot in the door, I don’t know if it is right for the situation.

Your Thoughts…



Your email is profound. There are many lessons that can be learned from it, and I want to point out a few of them…

The first one is that JEALOUSY can actually LEAD TO LOVE.

This situation where girl A didn’t have any “feelings” for you until she saw you with girl B is the RULE, not the exception.

If your significant other breaks up with you, one of the best things you can do to get them back is to:

  1. Act like you’re OK with their decision to leave.
  2. Start dating other people and let them know about it.

This combination alone is usually enough to make them come back to you.


It’s FAR more powerful than most people suspect.

Jealousy causes people to do crazy things and feel VERY powerful emotions… from love to hate.

Your mistake in this situation was this:

When girl A “made a scene and called you out to discuss the situation” you WENT WITH HER.

If I was in that situation, I would have just looked at her and said “You might want to consider acting like an adult here. I’ll talk to you another time.”

I’m guessing that to girl B you just came across as a whipped wussy who was cheating on his girlfriend, etc.

Girl B didn’t know you long enough to understand the relationship and have enough invested to FEEL jealous in this situation.

Ironically, the best thing you can probably do is get on with your life, and date other women.

And in the future, don’t allow a woman to throw a tantrum and control you AND the situation.

Trying to “get her back” is a losing game in most situations… because the act alone suggests that you’re needy (especially when you don’t even know a woman very well, and you’re trying to “get her back” after one or two dates).

The best thing to do is get on with your life, then call her in a month or two to see if she wants to have coffee.

Don’t talk about heavy things, and don’t mention anything about what happened. Just be casual.

You’ve learned a very valuable lesson, so remember it.

As a side note, I want to thank you for your email, and thank you for the compliments on my eBook. Most guys think that if they “drove a hot car and played semi-pro sports”, they wouldn’t need this material… but as you know, if you don’t understand how women and dating “work”, then almost nothing can help you.

…and by the way, if you’re reading this Mailbag right now and you are wondering how you can take your success with women and dating to the next level RIGHT NOW, then I’d recommend that you start out with my eBook “Double Your Dating”. In a few hours worth of reading, you can learn the basics that have taken me literally YEARS to figure out. Just go to:


…and you can download it and be reading it in a just a few minutes from right now.

If you’ve read my eBook and want to REALLY get a world-class education about how to attract women, then I’d recommend you invest in my Advanced CD/DVD Series. You can listen to me personally teach over 12 full hours of the most advanced concepts available anywhere in the world on meeting and dating women. Just go to:

Advanced Series

On that page you’ll also find several video clips from the program, so check them out.

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo