Women, Body Language, And Attraction
***QUESTION FROM A READER***
Hi Dave,
I have had your book for many months… Anyways, I used to be a super-wuss. Only got unpleasant fat chicks. Bought your book. Cleaned up my hair, my clothes, my apartment. Took baby-steps to improve my self-esteem and eliminate my insecurities. Now, even though I am not, nor ever will be a GQ model, I walk around with my head held high and walk slowly as if to say ‘hey world, here I am!’. I practiced online and met this girl who, after spending an afternoon just shooting pool (the whole time I accused her of cheating) and throwing snowballs at her (especially after she told me not to), tried to seduce me. Then I started practicing on the girls at work. Just little baby-steps. ‘Hi’ then ‘what’s your name’, etc. And now I can go out in public and do that with a complete stranger. And I do. Almost every day. And I keep a journal of what I notice.
Anyways, here is my question. Since I can now talk to a beautiful woman I’ve never met before like she’s an average joe, I’ve noticed body language, from the women, that I never used to see. It signals nervousness to me. Examples are: looking at the floor instantly when I say hi, nervous laughter after she tries to make a lame joke or just some statement, fidgeting, running her fingers through her hair a lot. It usually happens after a couple minutes of her meeting me, even when they don’t seem nervous at all at first. And I don’t always bust on them, but sometimes I do. I just try to stay myself. Upbeat but not emotional. I give lots of eye contact and have even seen pupils dilate right in front of me. So I’m confused. Is her being nervous around me a good thing? Or am I doing something wrong? I figured since you spent years at this, you were the man to ask. Even if you don’t want to use my email, your time in addressing this issue would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
W., Ohio
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for your email; you’ve shared some really interesting points and brought up some issues that I think a lot of guys can benefit from…
First of all, great job working on all of those little things that add up to a big improvement.
Most of us will never be GQ models, but we can all do our best with what we have.
Too many guys take the attitude of “I’ll never be a GQ model and therefore I shouldn’t brush my teeth or comb my hair, either”… which is horrible.
Women are far less concerned with “physical beauty” than men, but they ARE concerned with how a man takes care of what he has.
Also, good job practicing online and in the real world. The more you practice, the better you’ll be when the opportunities present themselves in the real world. If you want even more great tips on how to meet women online, then take a minute and read this:
And now, to address your question…
You are JUST STARTING to see things that have been happening all around you, and now you need to start understanding what they mean.
When you begin to treat beautiful women like they’re just another person, and you start communicating with them in a way that says, “Hi, I’m a confident, sexually aware man… and I want to find out what you’re like as a person” it has ALL KINDS of interesting effects.
Some women will get nervous, some will get turned on.
Some will even run away because they’re intimidated.
I’d like you to imagine something for a second.
Imagine that you’re an attractive woman who walks around all day getting approached by men, asked out, and generally treated like you’re special. Imagine that this is what you’ve become accustomed to, and that you have a basic way of responding to all of these men: You smile politely and say that you have a boyfriend, and if the man persists you act cold and walk away.
Now, imagine that all of a sudden a man shows up that is OBVIOUSLY not “taken off balance” by your looks, and who seems to be different. In fact, you can’t tell what’s going on because he’s not acting like a needy Wuss who wants to treat you special just because you happen to be physically beautiful.
Further, what if you actually started to feel a GUT-LEVEL ATTRACTION for him while he was talking to you, and it surprised you.
HOW WOULD YOU ACT?
You’d probably start to get a little nervous, and feel a little uncomfortable.
Right?
It’s natural for humans to feel nervous when they’re in the presence of someone who’s making them feel feelings that they don’t often feel.
But just because a person is acting NERVOUS doesn’t mean that they’re not ENJOYING it.
Now, with all that said, the only thing that really matters when you’re talking to a beautiful woman who you’re interested in seeing again, is the RESULT.
In other words, it doesn’t matter how you feel, how she feels, what is said, etc. in the end.
The only thing that matters after it’s all said and done is whether or not you see her AGAIN.
So here’s what I’d do if I were you…
USE THE 3 MINUTE EMAIL/PHONE NUMBER TECHNIQUE WITH EVERY WOMAN YOU TALK TO!
While you’re still learning about subtle female body language and attraction, you need to get the email and number to follow up with later. ALWAYS.
The more you do this, and then follow up later, the more you’ll begin to connect RESULTS with how a woman was acting when you were FIRST talking to her.
Does this make sense?
You’ll even start to be able to tell what works and what doesn’t based purely on the EMAIL responses you get from women you’ve met.
You’re on the right track, and you’re figuring out things that most men won’t even KNOW EXIST in their entire lives… so stick with it.
And if you haven’t read my eBook “Double Your Dating,” then you need to do that NOW. It’s my original manual for success with women and dating, and it’s the place to get started if you want to take your success with women to the next level. Oh, and this is where you can learn the Three Minute Email And Phone Number Techniques as well. You can download it at:
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I’ll talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo